Enough Already

This has been a really, really bad day. I am so sleep-deprived that I cannot even describe it. I went to sleep around 2 a.m. last night and woke up at 6:27 a.m. How is that possible??? Made myself go back to sleep for an hour or so and then just gave up. I am very, very depressed. I've been crying since I got out of bed today. Can't explain it, can't stop. Everything's terrible. No job, no insurance, no money, no hope. I have type II diabetes and since I lost my job in November due to layoffs - who hasn't been laid off? - I also lost my health insurance. You do the math. Most days, I can't feel my feet, today I can't feel my left hand. Typing is kind of tricky. I also have (undiagnosed) Meniere's disease. Three or four days a week, I have vertigo so badly that I have to take two or three Dramamine and sit really still until I can stand to move my head. Also, back in February, I woke up one Sunday with no hearing. Now, it comes and goes, but mostly, I watch the close captioning on DVDs because I can't get the captioning to work on my television. Plus, cause of the diabetes, my vision is getting worse, too. Sorry, but yes, this one's a rant or a whine or whatever you want to call it. Also, for reasons passing all understanding, all of my so-called friends have abandoned me. It isn't my fault I got laid off, lost my insurance and my health took a header. Truthfully, I don't even talk about this stuff with anyone unless they ask. So I'm at a loss as to why EVERYONE has turned their backs on me. Everyone - my friends, my co-workers, even my father. My daughter is never home, but I've failed so miserably at being her mother that it's fine.

Anyway, it's been a really bad day and I don't see things improving any time soon, if at all. That's what's happening today. Sorry to disturb.